A FLY ON THE WALL OF A PRODUCTION OFFICE OF A CABLE NEWS NETWORK WAS PRIVY TO THE FOLLOWING DISCUSSION

Executive producer, yawns: “Okay gentlemen and ladies of course, it is now 3:30 a:m and the network show will be up and on the air at four give or take. First, who has made a list of newsworthy things carried over from the 11: pm news? Come on folks, do we have any Republican goofs or gaffes that we can run with?”

Editor 1.: Just about five from the Veep, but after the bleeps there would be little story left.”

Executive producer: “It has come down from the top that the rich bitch Lithuanian has threatened to remove all funding from his Media Corporate entities, if we don’t find more dirt on all of he G.O.P candidates, their wives, parents, and the first time their children had sex. Expand teen age crushes and kissing into a major scandal if you have to.

Editor 2: “Might be best to look at the democrats for that kind or stuff.”

Executive Producer: “Quiet….this place is supposed to be sound proof, but who knows.” He scans the room. ” Only a fly. We will all have to be discreet about what we feel and say, because we might find ourselves part of the 9.2% unemployed.”

Editor 1: “Actually, the 9.2 is false. The real rate is almost 20%.”

Executive producer: “Didn’t you just hear what I said? All right, we have about twenty minutes to set our program schedule for old news and rewrite the new stuff to be politically correct, and make the Lithuanian happy.”

Editor 2: ” I have been here for ten months and think all of this sucks. Is this what I went to journalism school for? To taint the news and act no less than like a whore?”

Female show host for the 6:am hour: “News flash! You are a guy! You do have the option to go home to your wife and kids and explain why you quit, I guess. We had better move on. What shall I open with?”

Executive Producer: “The hot topic is still the gas over the debt ceiling raise. We could spend hours, yet days on that. obama just came out and essentially called Boehner a liar, and the House Speaker retaliated with the same.”

Male show host #1: “We all know that the president is lying, so I will emphasize his repeated strong desire to end this issue before our entire economy collapses, and lay as much blame on the Republicans as possible. He really is scared shitless about losing the election if he had to deal with this again in six months as the Repubs would like.

Editor 1: “We can run clips of obama saying ‘all the right things’ and edit anything that Boehner or Kantor might say that might make them look good or reasonable. It would be good to include as many videos of him with that paid gang of selected folks that he has lined up behind him. I hear they are well compensated and most viewers probably would not recognize them as do overs given the white coats or hard hats.”

Editor 2: “What’s our take on the ‘Gang of Six’? Or should we even have one?”

Males Host #2: “Everyone with any smarts understands that was just something to confuse and delay anything being done, since it provided more time for president chicken little to herald everything bad that might happen. Look who was put in charge, the Veep. Is there any more stupid person who has been elected in this administration?”

Female Host: “I have the long list.” She looks around the room. “I know discretion is the better part of keeping one’s job even though one might hate every effin minute of it. No one here but us chickens and that fly, so unless the G.O.P has bugged the fly…………..”

Editor 2: “Technology like that has been stuffed since obama eviscerated the Space Program. I know….let’s proceed. “My sense is that we open the 6:am program creating doubt with regard to anything the Republican’s have proposed, make obama look like a last-minute savior and somehow interject the fact that the nut case in Norway is most likely a right-wing religious fanatic.”

Executive Producer: “Kudos to you. The latter is just what the Lithuanian wanted. This way we raise huge doubts and take out most candidates with southern conservative backing. We need lots more. Ideas?”

Editor 2: “Bachmann and Pawlenty have been at each other’s throats over the weekend. Nothing real but we good stretch the facts a bit. She says he’s closer to obama……We might have additional problems if Perry entered the race, and what to do about Christie from New Jersey?” There is a brief pause. “Got it. Somehow get Christie involved with ms. obama’s diet enterprise, and we can always incite he masses to blame Perry for what ever just because he is from Texas just like Bush.’

Female Host: “Are you suggesting that the first lady place Christie on her burger, fries and shakes diet? Could be deadly.”

Male Host #2: “That’s impossible. Pawlenty would have to be falling off the port side of his boat, if he had one, and if he were closer to obama in ideology. Both Perry and Christie could be a threat if they ran. Right now generic G.O.P. candidate beats obama.

Female Host: “Any one who might be honest beats obama. Is Pawlenty a communist? Only kidding. I know. That fly.”

Male Host #1: “I am getting twittered again.”

Male Host #2: “Control yourself and save it for later.”

Executive Producer: “Good we open as we discussed, but we need a kicker to aggravate Americans. What do the polls tell us?”

Editor 1: “Well, polls that can be trusted have shown that the majority of Americans believe obama is doing a lousy job all in all. Over 60% do not want the debt ceiling raised and no one but a few democrats want an increase in taxes. Most would like a balanced budget amendment.”

Executive Producer: “Guys, and gals of course. This is going to be a hard sell. Fly if you are listening. obama wants to raise taxes on everyone. This rich crap is just a ploy. Reid is bringing up his own plan in an attempt to move the debt crisis passed the 2012 election. obama doesn’t care about anything but the election. How do we slant the news enough to obviate all of this?”

Female Host: “This is a tough assignment. Not only do I have to lie, but I have to go home and face my family after wards”.

Editor #1: “Do it with a straight face. All of the network affiliates are doing the same thing.”

Female Host: “You, my friend, are not in front of the cameras. What would you say to more fair and balanced reporting?”

Executive Producer: “The Lithuanian would nix that and all of our salaries.”

Male Host #2: “Perhaps we all should have the balls to do that.” He paused. “Except for the three maniacs on the evening shows. Any one of them would sell their wives just to just enjoy a figurative orgasm with the president again. Actually might be literal. Just realized that yesterday was Jul 24th in New York, so the female of the three could sell her wife as well, figuratively that it. As long as there are people so willing to sell their souls, we would not have a chance.”

Male Host #2: “Perhaps other networks are hiring? Who knows that all of us might be able to rid ourselves of whatever pressures the Lithuanian applies to distort the news for his own political agenda.”

Editor 1: “I would drink to that but for the fact that it is almost 6:am.” She looked at the others. “Who among us is willing to blow the whistle?”

ALL SAID IN UNISON: “THE FLY.”

TO BE CONTINUED:

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