Good evening FOLKS,
My lecture tonight will deal with the reasons why I have decided to participate in the bombing of Libya. Forgive me if I repeat any of the things I have previously stated during my tour of our 57 states. I what to be perfectly clear with regard to my position(s) on our mini-not-war-mind-you kinetic involvement in the internal affairs of a sovereign state. I will be absolutely transparent when I offer that this was purely a humanitarian action and in no way represents a decision on my part to rid Libya of Gaddafi whom I have repeatedly asked to leave. There seems to be a difference of opinion between Hillary and Robert Gates regarding the need for this, uh mission. Gates seems to think that Libya presented no threat to the United States and Hillary had yet another opinion(s). Having taken all into consideration and the fact that I would not have to go first, I forgot to ask Congress for permission.
I absolutely do not want to appear ambiguous when I say that despite unrest, revolution and uprisings in other North African and Middle Eastern countries, I have no immediate plans to interfere as I did not in Iran in 2009 when a million or so unhappy young people rose in rebellion for what they perceived as restrictions of freedoms imposed by the mullahs. At least this time I did not have to make a unilateral decision, the French and British having paved the way, allowing me to golf and plan my Brazilian trip, which incidentally, my wife children and mother-law enjoyed immensely. It was good to just get away from budgets and issues of unemployment, not to mention the marginalization of my once strong political base. Truthfully, there will be no additional American boots on Libyan soil. With the understanding and let me be up front, that in order not to completely lose my liberal support in my quest for re-election, I am calling this any other military offenses that we might engage in PARSING ENGAGEMENTS. If need be, they will be given a mission name that will reflect my desire not to anger my middle eastern friends, such as OPERATION LOVE YOUR MUSLIM NEIGHBOR, or OPERATION, HE IS NOT A TERRORIST, HE IS JUST BEING MUSTAPHA.
Regarding my bracket picks for March Madness, I have fired my basketball czar who misguided me in my choices. I am being totally frank when I tell you that the all of the final four were my original picks, so in keeping with previous actions on my part I will use executive privilege to erase what I said before, but I am sticking with Kansas to win it all even though they have been eliminated. Let it be written……etcetera…………
Now I would like to address recent comments made by Donald Trump, on whose golf courses I do not recall being invited to play. Let me be absolutely open with regard to my birth certificate which currently has been mislaid. I would think that someone like myself who has been open, above-board, totally transparent, never ambiguous and always perfectly clear, should not have my citizenship questioned. One just has to ask the Governor of Hawaii who recalls to the minute the exact moment of my birth in some hospital in Hawaii almost 50 years ago. The fact that no doctor or nurse has come forward is irrelevant. That should be sufficient to lay this to rest along with where I went college and law school despite the fact that no one recalls my attending classes, and what medical problems I never had in Chicago. And to prove, once and for all, that I am a Christian….God bless America.